I have to say, I am rather disgusted when it comes to Batman V Superman. I’m so disgusted that I actually deleted my initial 500 words in this article where I tried to ease into what my issue is with Batman V Superman. I’m not entirely sure why I decided to cut the extra B.S. I had written and just get down to my issue with this film. Maybe it’s just the rising frustration of the six kids running around my house at the moment or maybe it’s just the bottle of rum I’m a quarter of the way into, who knows. Why am I disgusted with this film you may ask? Is it Ben Affleck as Batman? Is it too dark and gritty? Is it the script or maybe even Zack Snyder as the director? Well, to be honest, it’s none of those at all as to why I’m disgusted…It’s the reviews.
I, like everyone else, was excited to see Batman and Superman finally on screen together, even way back in 2002 when Wolfgang Peterson was reportedly set to direct the film. That obviously didn’t pan out but then the news broke that DC was going to follow up “Man of Steel” with Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice. After several years of DC trying to find its footing with its characters, it was finally ready to follow the similar path which Marvel had already been on for years. Look, the movie business is about making money, I get it. So sure, of course, DC was going to try and compete with Marvel and have an expanded universe of our favorite characters that would all share the screen. I really don’t care about who wins between Marvel or DC nor which characters are better – not in the least bit. I care about being entertained and seeing these characters brought to life on the big screen. That’s all. Unfortunately, this movie was doomed to fail from the get go on the hype alone. Not only did this film have to live up to incredibly high expectations, it had to open the world for the Justice League along with the expanded DC universe. It had to compete with Marvel, it had to answer “fan outrage” from Man of Steel, it had to deal with the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman. The truth is Batman V Superman was stuck trying to ice skate uphill from the start and if the people love one thing, it’s failure.
“The one thing they love more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying. In spite of everything you’ve done for them, eventually, they will hate you.” That quote is actually from a Marvel film and rings very true here. These so called “critics” wanted this movie to fail from the very beginning. They were itching to rip this film apart piece by piece the moment they sat down to conduct their “review.” I read dozens of these so-called reviews and was absolutely astounded at the variety of complaints they all covered. I actually read an article today, March 25th, which is the day of the film’s release titled “22 baffling Questions Dawn of Justice refused to answer.” The movie just released…what are you doing with your time that you could form 22 questions that needed to be answered already? Furthermore, who in god’s name are you that the film needed to answer questions for you? Now I can understand wanting to know the answer to certain things sure, but do you know what one of the questions was? “How quickly can you form a Congressional Hearing?” My jaw opened wide and I just sat and stared for a good 20 seconds. You’re in the theater to see Batman V Superman for the first time on the big screen. Batman is a man who’s parents were murdered in front of him as a child and decided to dress as a Bat to strike fear into the hearts of criminals in his city. Superman is a man from a world far from here that is now destroyed who can fly, shoot red lasers from his eyes and is virtually invulnerable. An entire city was nearly destroyed in a battle between Superman and Zod and thousands of lives were lost. Is this Superman a savior to humankind or an alien that needs to be destroyed because one bad day for him could mean the death of all of us? Despite all that, one of the burning questions in your soul about this film is “How long does it take to form a Congressional Hearing?”
It goes on from there in varying levels of ridiculousness and I found myself wishing some of these individuals were part of some Fight Club I could join. If I had written how I really felt about some of these reviews, my editor would most certainly refuse to publish it. I read another review that criticized the training montage of Bruce Wayne preparing to fight Superman. They joked about Bruce Wayne using Cross Fit to prepare for a fight with the Man of Steel as if pulling a tire or bench pressing would help in such a feat. Again I found myself with a blank stare with what I had just read. I could be wrong but I’m willing to bet that Jabroni has never been in a fight in his life. He’s never had his chin checked by someone’s right hand or had to prepare his body for battle. As a former amateur fighter, I will tell you that you always train and prepare yourself. It doesn’t matter how big that person is or how small they are, you prepare yourself. Furthermore, he’s not preparing himself to fight Superman as Superman, he’s preparing to fight Superman as a man. Yet for whatever reason this Jabroni doesn’t get it and just like that, it’s in there as a negative for the film and posted online and people are ready to run along with it because if it’s on the internet it has to be true right?
Sure Batman V Superman has some problems and is by no stretch a perfect superhero film. I thought the first hour of the film was great with the second jumping around a bit too much. I didn’t like Jesse Eisenburg as Lex Luthor at all. I hated how the trailers for this film virtually gave the entire plot and secrets to the film away weeks before it came out. I felt that too much was crammed into the second half of the film and Batman V Superman should not have been the title of the film. The fight is only a very small portion of the film and doesn’t take place until the last few acts of the film. So yes, Batman V Superman has its problems, but was I entertained? Yes, I was.
I was entertained by the film. I enjoyed seeing how they were going to incorporate all these characters into the Justice League. I enjoyed seeing Batman and Superman on screen together and battling it out with each other and Doomsday. When I sat down to watch the film there were two men directly in front of me, both with notepads. No doubt they were ready to take notes and post their own review following the film. Thanks to a connection at a local radio station I have been able to attend various press screenings for films and every time I go, there’s that press box filled with individuals and their notepads. I have reviewed various movies and TV shows and I never use a notepad…never. I go in with an open mind every time and I see what sticks with me when it’s over. What did I remember? What made an impression on me? What did I like and not like? If I have to write these things down then they didn’t have an effect on me and were merely points I thought would sound good in a review. When it comes to legendary characters such as these, people will always find something to complain about. Batman and Superman have been around for decades and with the way America is today, someone will always complain about something. To this day, goons are still talking about whether poor Jack could have fit on that door with Rose when the Titanic sank. That movie came out in 1997 – almost 20 years ago – and people are still talking about the science of how he could have fit on there.
If you’ve read the reviews of Batman V Superman, you would certainly be iffy on seeing the film and I don’t blame you. Despite those reviews, I implore you to think outside the box when it comes to a superhero film. Accept the flaws, accept the good and the bad, the characters you understand and don’t. Go and be entertained by this film and make up your own mind. “Figuring things out for yourself is the only freedom anyone really has. Use that freedom. Make up your own mind.” Do you know what quote that movie is from? In any case, embrace that quote and go see the movie. Be wowed…or disappointed by Batman V Superman but make up your own mind. Do not permit yourself to be guided by some stooge on the important or unimportant things in this film and go see for yourself. If you’re really on the fence about this film, maybe money or time really matters to you and you just can’t decide. Try and find a child who has seen it. Someone who has not had their imagination drowned out by dealing with bills and work and getting the basement remodeled. Ask them and they’ll tell you. I spoke with two ten-year-olds following this film and asked: “What didn’t you like?” The first answer was that it was too long and I agree, it is a bit long. Answers from there varied to not liking Lex Luthor, not liking the “jump scares” and wanting more action. There were no complaints about the organization of the film or how Bruce Wayne trained to fight Superman. No complaints about how Batman V Superman hates women (Yes, I read that too), no concern over how long it takes to form a Congressional Hearing. Yes Batman V Superman has its problems but go see it. Get away from the concerns of that 9-5 job, the loans you still owe, the car payment you’re late on, the cleaning you didn’t do and go let your imagination run wild and see the film. Maybe you’ll love it, maybe you’ll hate it but decide for yourself. Enjoy the movie.
--Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever
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