It was a quiet day on the Animal Crossing island of Potoon today. My neighbors were watering the flowers. I was digging holes, the usual things.
But then I saw this…shape. it’s not Gulliver shipwrecked again, is it? No…no it was yellow, with dead…wide staring eyes. It hopped over to me. “I’m Zipper,” it said. He bounced around the island all day and night but nobody seemed to notice or care. Was I seeing things? Maybe all the wasp stings were finally getting to me.
I left my house today and on my once barren trees…eggs…on my bell trees…eggs…
Why? Where did they come from?
I asked around and everyone seemed just as confused as I was. Tom Nook and Isabelle have barely even acknowledged it. They’ve both been around for a long time though, so if they don’t bat an eye maybe it’s fine? Maybe it’s just a little surprise for us for the day?
They’re still here…I’m trying to pay my bills but half the fish I think I see and try to catch are eggs.
Okay. The little activity was cute. You can stop now guys.
I left the island to try to find some answers, but everywhere I went no matter how far it was the same. Even the deserted islands. Everything is eggs. This can’t be Nook or Isabelle’s doing then…so whose is it? I can’t shake the feeling that that creepy rabbit has something to do with it. Who is he really? What does he want? Where did he come from? Why have we never seen him here on our peaceful Animal Crossing isle?
Balloons have been flying by more often lately. They’re mysterious and strange enough as it is, but now they’re being joined by these striped, technicolor sentinels dropping demands for egg construction. Clothes, furniture, you name it, all ugly and horrifying mashups ups of color. Why must we keep doing this? Is there more than one of him? Have we all become their unwilling production factories? What do you want from us, Zipper? What do you want? Why won’t you leave us alone?
The nightmares and rumors are starting. Not just me, but everybody. The whole entire island. No matter who I talk to, we all dream of eggs where they shouldn’t be. The fear is spreading. They tremble when they talk about it. Is it out of fear of the memory, or fear of him watching? The thought of that fuzzy creep being omnipotent and/or omniscient sends shivers up my spine. Is he putting the dreams in our heads? Watching us as we sleep, filling us with hidden terror, showing us his plans. How dare he?!?
If the demon known as Zipper is this powerful, how do we even know these eggs are real? What if it’s some sort of mass hallucination? I mean, the fish all look normal. The balloons are balloons. The rocks are rocks and the trees are trees. Are we crafting real things? Ugh…my head…look at me…I need to craft myself a tinfoil hat…
A parallel dimension! That’s what this must be! A rift that nobody can see or feel that somehow just showed up and pushed us all into this mess! Are these islands in the Bermuda Triangle of Animal Crossing and nobody told us? Or…some sort of unknown “triangle” that nobody has discovered yet and couldn’t warn us about? I mean what else could it be? We all fell through an egg painted on a door in a claymation forest? Ha. Yeah right…what kind of weirdo would even come up with that?
Oh, no…they’re eating them…they’re eating the eggs. I couldn’t stop them. They keep saying they’re just chocolate but how could they ever trust these things no matter what they’re made of? For sake they were terrified of them a few days ago! What is happening to these people? These are my friends and they’re all going crazy! They’re even excited to see Zipper again, what the hell!? He got to them…somehow…he must have…but how…why?
I’m losing my mind. I am losing my entire mind. I can’t do this anymore. Make it stop. Make it stop. I am begging you all to make this stop and let me live a normal life again! I came here for peace and quiet, not ovular madness! Knock it off with these creepy as hell eggs and the yellow bunny cult!
One more day…just one more…I’ve barely left my house…I just…there are too many eggs. There’s too much strangeness. I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t. This has to end. Once and for all. HE comes tomorrow. It’s HIS day. I won’t live like this anymore. I will fix this, finish this, end this. Once and for all. I have everything I need with me and even with his seeming psychic powers, he won’t be ready for me. I’ll save my friends, take back my home, and get rid of those garbage faux breakfast items that are messing up my island!
He’s here. It’s time. It’s finally time. But it’s so much worse than I ever imagined. They’re all in those horrid egg outfits. And that sadistic Robbie the Rabbit wannabe is just standing there, dancing, mocking me. You’re not going to mock me anymore Zipper!
It’s over, it’s done. Finally. I walked outside this morning and it was like nothing ever happened. I fished collected wood and hit the rocks like normal. There were even the blessed only four stars in the ground for the fossils instead of the lies that were the egg holes. My friends are all in their normal clothes again, and not one of them mentioned that rabbit or the eggs. Maybe they forgot, I hope. Or…what if it never happened at all? Did I imagine everything?
Either way…I’m glad things are back to normal. At last, the Animal Crossing we know and love is safe and secure.