Summer is nearly upon us. Soon shows like Arrow and The Last Man on Earth will be airing their season finales. Never fear, summer promises to feature a gargantuan amount new and returning series. Some of the shows might even be good. To help you get through the summer months I’ve compiled a list of high profile TV series that will be airing while us nerds hide from the sun.
Guaranteed Good Time
Hannibal:
Hannibal is entering its third season and if you haven’t started watching, it’s time to catch up. The series features an excellent cast, beautiful cinematography, and more gore than you’ve ever seen on network television. The third season from showrunner Bryan Fuller will focus on the Red Dragon saga in Hannibal lore. Watch Mads Mikkelson and Hugh Dancy flirt during therapy sessions starting Thursday, June 4 at 10 P.M on NBC.
True Detective:
True Detective is back this summer with an all-new cast and story. Colin Farrell, Vince Vaughn, Taylor Kitsch, and Rachel McAdams are set to star in the hotly-anticipated second season. The absence of Cary Fukunaga, director of all of season one’s episodes, worries me a bit, but Nic Pizzolatto is still handling the writing duties so there might be a chance at another stellar season. The show will return to HBO Sunday, June 21 at 9 P.M.
Married:
You probably haven’t watched this series, but now would be an excellent time to start. Paired last summer with millennial whine-fest You’re the Worst, Married took all the stereotypes of a relationship comedy and added a dark edge. It’s immensely funny and the leads Nat Faxon and Judy Greer kill it every episode. The sitcom even had the balls the scale back the comedic aspect and focus on character-building drama for a few episodes. Comedic heavyweights John Hodgman, Jenny Slate, and Brett Gelman co-star. Take a chance Thursday, July 16 at 10:30 P.M. on FX.
Maron:
Maron is an obvious clone of the immensely successful Louie, but Marc Maron’s signature brand of cynicism has kept the laughs coming. Now as Louis C.K. keeps retreading the same themes i.e. relationships are hard because I’m old and weird, Maron has a chance to rise to forefront. Marc’s recent diagnosis with brain cancer will surely be mined for comedic insight, if his appearance on This is Not Happening is any indication, and it may be the push the show needs to elevate it out of Louie‘s shadow. Check it out Thursday, May 14 at 10 P.M. on IFC.
Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll:
This new show stars funnyman Denis Leary as rock star. Denis Leary also created the show. Promos have been thin on plot, but hopefully the show sticks the landing and features a lot of what the title implies. Tune in Thursday, July 16 at 10 P.M. on FX.
American Ninja Warrior:
This is the best show on television and I will never stop watching it. In a world where people yelling at each other about beauty pageants is considered entertainment, it’s nice to some positivity on display. Every contestant on Ninja Warrior is so stoked about everything. Everybody high-fives each other. There’s no hard feelings. It’s just heartwarming television. Get your ninja on Monday, May 25 at 8 P.M. on NBC.
Wet Hot American Summer: First Day at Camp:
The cult-classic movie is now a television show on Netflix. I have high hopes for this series as original cast members Paul Rudd and Jason Schwartzman are returning. David Wain is directing as well so it’s bound to be off the chain. Watch every episode Friday, July 17 on Netflix.
Could Be Good
Wayward Pines:
This special 10-episode event is produced by M. Night Shyamalan and stars Matt Dillon. Spooky stuff is supposed to happen and FOX has been hyping it up for the past few months. We’ll see if it lives up to the hype Thursday, May 14 at 9 P.M. on FOX.
Aquarius:
This series follows a 1960s cop investigating the Manson clan and appears to be part of a double bill with Hannibal. The last thing network television needs is another cop show, especially when the word “gritty” is the second word in the logline. If they can nail the period setting and keep it dark there may be hope for it. Aquarius airs Thursday, May 28 at 9 P.M. on NBC.
Halt and Catch Fire:
Halt and Catch Fire didn’t exactly have a stellar first season. While aiming to be Mad Men for computer nerds it failed to stay interesting. The shining light is that it stars Lee Pace and Scoot McNairy, two wonderful and underrated actors. Often times shows get better in the second season. Let’s hope this is the case for this period drama. Check it out Sunday, May 31 at 10 P.M. on AMC.
Defiance:
Defiance is one of those shows that I know isn’t top quality, but I still find a way to enjoy. After a rocky first season, the second season improved dramatically. The biggest downfall for the series is due to the shoestring budget and lackluster acting, otherwise it might be an excellent sci-fi romp. Fingers crossed that it keeps trending upward. Fans of the series can return to a terraformed St. Louis Friday, June 12 at 8 P.M. on Syfy.
Scream:
You’ve heard the rumors and now it’s officially here. It’s Scream the television series. The series has a home on MTV and the catalyst for the narrative is a YouTube video going viral. Before I stick sharp objects in my eyes I’ll give the series a chance, just based on the name alone. I feel that I’ll be coming away disappointed from this one. Watch the murder of a movie franchise Tuesday, June 30 at 10 P.M. on MTV.
Why the F%&k Does this Exist?
Tyrant:
Tyrant is disgustingly bad and pretty racist to boot. The politics on display are almost as sophisticated as a Call of Duty mission. They didn’t even set it in a real country. Who has been watching this? If you have, feel free to pour more sand in your eyes Tuesday, June 16 at 10 P.M. on FX.
Extant:
Halle Berry stars as pregnant astronaut that was impregnated by a spooky space ghost. She also has a robot son that runs off of Duracell batteries and is totally evil. I’m not making any of that up. You know the drill: Wednesday, July 1 at 10 P.M. on CBS.
Dominion:
Do you remember Legion? Probably not, but it was a lackluster supernatural movie about angels with guns and Dennis Quaid. In their infinite wisdom SyFy premiered a show based on the movie last summer. The show was terrible. This summer it’s coming back. Don’t ask me how. I do know when though: Thursday, July 9 at 10 P.M. on Syfy.
Geeks Who Drink:
I know absolutely nothing about this show other than it’s called Geeks Who Drink. Feel free to not watch it Thursday, July 16 at 11:30 P.M. on Syfy.
Tut:
Tut is a miniseries event premiering this summer that’s all about King Tut. It promises political intrigue, death, and drama. I promise you that it will be mostly white people with British accents pretending to be Egyptian. If you really feel the need to watch Ben Kingsley do another one of these historical dramas it premieres Sunday, July 19 at 9 P.M on Spike.
Special Category: “The Strain”
The Strain is not a good show, but this summer I will be tuning into every episode. Why do I do this to myself? Part of it is my dedication to Papa Del Toro. Another part is Kevin Durand’s bad-ass performance. The last is that at some point in the second season they will show the commando vampires and it will be glorious. Deep in my heart I know that I should break up with The Strain. I’m tired of coming home from work and lying to myself that Corey Stoll’s hairpiece is convincing. I’m tired of that child actor and the dementia stricken lady. Please, I’m praying to you Papa Del Toro that you just cut the bullshit and broadcast a full hour of Setrakian cutting the heads off of ammonia vamps.
Don’t let me down this summer on FX.
Did I forget your favorite show? Probably, there’s a lot of series coming out I didn’t cover. Orange is the New Black comes out this summer as well and Cold Justice and a lot of other things I don’t care about. For a list that even includes So You Think You Can Dance? head to iMDB and see the full list here.
