A woman in California says she graduated with honors from a conservative college that now sends her mail addressed to her husband, even though he’s never attended. It’s always to “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. My name isn’t listed EVER,” she explained.
Going by the username Either-Photograph989, the woman shared her negative thoughts about this college on r/mildlyinfuriating. Although her husband has never been to the institution she graduated from, the college still allegedly addresses Either Photograph as if her identity is only tied to being married. “It’s because I’m ‘under his umbrella’ because he’s male and I’m female. Gross,” she remarked.
The reason she went to a college she now disagrees with is because of her family. OP says she was raised in what she described as a cult and didn’t know any better at the time. However, now she claims she wants nothing to do with the conservative college or support it in any way. “I’m the black sheep that got away,” she called herself. Plenty of Reddit users tuned into Either Photograph’s story and criticized the naming convention as outdated.
“The problem is that this is a conservative college. Conservatives applaud this kind of backwards behavior. They would not be shamed by it,” remarked a commenter. “I work at a regular college and noticed this happening. I pointed out how irritated I would be!” exclaimed a second.
Other Married Commenters Claimed to Have Experienced the Same: Being Addressed Under Their Husbands’ Names
Either Photograph’s experience struck a nerve with commenters, several of whom said they had encountered similar traditional naming conventions from colleges, businesses, or other organizations. Several said they were addressed by their husbands’ names instead of their own. “I’d be more than mildly infuriated; they’re basically saying they don’t regard your life,” expressed a Redditor.
OP wrote in response: “They don’t care at all. I worked so hard in spite of how much everyone pressured me to just focus on getting married.” She added that this college’s use of her husband’s name to address her stung even more, since she was “the first woman on my mom’s side to graduate college.” “I graduated without a man in the picture even once. Just focused on me,” she expressed.
In the end, for Either Photograph, the naming convention sparks frustration because of what her degree represented. As the first woman on her mother’s side to graduate from college, she says she focused on herself despite the pressure to prioritize getting married.
Now, she feels like this same college she graduated from with honors disrespects her by addressing her with the name of a man who’s never attended, which she believes happened solely because he is her husband.
