If you’re a working parent with kids, you understand how difficult it can feel to balance it all. Every day may feel like a constant game of trying to finish work and still have time for family. And don’t get me started on trying to keep up with the housework! A South Carolina mom is now speaking up. She feels like it’s important for parents to hear her very real message. The life that they sell you promising a balance between corporate work and parenthood is not always as it seems.
Ashley (@ash.wishman) shared a TikTok video captioned, “Life advice from a 40 year old working mom of 2.” She shares her story in her vehicle as she’s awaiting three long meetings at her corporate job. Ashley says that she’s been part of corporate life for half her life now. She also has two children aged 11 and 7. As Ashley states to her audience, “I fell for it. I fell for this thing where, you know, go to college, get your degree. You know, if you wanna have kids, you can do it all. You can have a career; you can have kids.”
Now, Ashley is frustrated by the lies that society fed her. She sounds anguished and burned out as she states, “Well, I don’t want to do everything.” She tells her audience to not fall for what they tell you, because it’s never as easy as just being a working mom. Ashley says she unfortunately misses out on just picking up her kids from school. She has no time to chaperone and volunteer at their schools. Because she is expected to work long hours at her corporate job just to maintain the standard of living, she can’t do any of that. She can’t have a normal life where she gets to be a mom and go to the grocery store or clean her house. It all comes with strings attached because she never has time to just be her. This is what so many parents are missing in their lives.
Ashley begs her TikTok to “not fall” for this lie that society feeds parents, as “it’s a joke.” With tears in her eyes, she tells people to find a way to instead live their lives and be at home with their kids. To be more active in their lives instead of giving your life to a corporate job, who takes so much time away from you. Many parents agreed with Ashley, saying that they wish they would be able to balance parent life with work life, but finding it near impossible to do.
In an update video, Ashley says that she personally wishes she could go back in time and change things. She feels like there was a trade-off where she was able to work a lot and get them into a nice home with relatively normal lives. But is it worth it when you miss so much in the background? To her and so many other parents, that’s time that you can’t get back.
One commenter agreed, “100%. Everyone lied. You either have kids OR a career. You cannot have both without intense sacrifice.” Another commenter shared their own journey, “When I left my corporate job after my third child, I told my HR rep, ‘I will be replaced in 2 weeks here, I cannot be replaced at home.’” These are definitely things to consider. It takes the ability to look inward and decide what matters most to you and find that balance, when possible. Unfortunately, because of how capitalist society works, it’s difficult out there for parents trying to find that balance.
