The natural progression of things following a wedding is more than just enjoying life with your new spouse. It also involves showing gratitude for everybody who shared your special day with you. However, one newlywed from California is not quite feeling thankful after her wedding was almost ruined. Two very specific guests broke a very important rule on her special day and now she is questioning: Do I send a thank-you note or not?
The bride understands that the proper etiquette following a wedding is to send all of your guests thank-you notes. However, in a post on r/wedding, she details that two guests, her cousins, deserve little more than a firm talking-to after her big day.
That’s because her cousin and her cousin’s wife brought alcohol to her wedding even though she specifically asked everybody not to. On top of that, according to the poster, her sister had to spend the whole night trying to “reign in” the two wedding crashers because they drank too much.
The rightfully angry bride goes on to say, “Found out later that not only did my cousins sneak alcohol in during dinner, but they doordashed more throughout the night and left the empty bottles on the floor under their table.”
Her brother-in-law had to pick up the mess before the wedding venue manager found out. Then, when the bride’s mom tried to talk to them the next morning, they ditched the wedding party and ghosted everybody without so much as an apology.
When the bride asked, “Do I send them a thank you card?” even going on to explain that the cousins didn’t get her and her spouse a wedding gift, redditors were furious alongside her!
One redditor told her that she should be completely open and honest about her feelings on the entire matter. They stated, “I’d send a card. Inside, I’d write, ‘Thank you for attending the ceremony. However, it was really disappointing and disrespectful that you brought alcohol to the reception. You put us in financial jeopardy with the venue, and you made fools of yourselves. How sad that you couldn’t spend one evening without drinking. I hope you get professional help for your problem.’”
One person commented, “If there’s nothing to thank them for then don’t send a card. Since they didn’t give a gift and it sounds like the wedding would have been better without them I wouldn’t be thanking them for attending!” Others told her to forget about them and to enjoy their honeymoon.
While others disagreed and said not to send a card at all, this person has a great point. How do you put a stop to any adverse future behavior from a relative if you don’t address the problem head-on?
The one positive of all this is that this newlywed can enjoy life with her new spouse and choose to walk away from the negativity if that’s what she chooses. It goes to show that not every relative will have a positive impact on your mental health, especially when they put themselves before yourself on what is supposed to be your special day.
