Of all the headlines I’ve written in my writing career, this one may take the cake. Yes, in a bizarre incident that has taken the internet by storm, a man in San Jose, California had a watermelon dropped onto his “crown jewels” in a viral video that’s currently making the rounds online.
In the 59-second video, a shirtless California man with a ‘Colon Crusher’ tattoo on his belly, who is holding a large, green watermelon declares, “It’s another fun mission! We’re here in San Jose, California and we are gonna take a watermelon and make fruit salad out of my goddamn nuts from waaaay up there.” The camera then pans to a wooden platform up above, which appears to be about 20 feet high. The audience behind the California man cheers with approval. “Let’s do it!” shouts the man as he cackles.
The footage then cuts to a person holding a watermelon, perched atop of the aforementioned wooden platform, who then suddenly drops the large fruit. The camera follows the descent of the watermelon down and down, but it doesn’t smash on the concrete floor below. Instead, it lands right between the legs of the California man who is waiting below. Making the incident even more strange is a man in a red t-shirt who is helping to hold the California man’s legs apart so that the fruit hits its “target.”
Upon landing, the crowd of onlookers yell “OHHHH,” as they collectively feel the pain of what they just witnessed. “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh, f***!” shouts the California man as he rolls around on the ground in shock. Next, the footage then shows a slow-mo cut from a different angle of the same incident.
Naturally, the internet was quick to respond with commenters flooding posts across social media. “I fully support him not having more children in future =P” read one of the top-voted comments over on Reddit. Meanwhile, another netizen thoughtfully weighed in writing:
An unbroken line, of mother to child, going back thousands and thousands of years. Every single one of his ancestors procreated successfully to create this organism that you’ve just witnessed. The odds against his existence are astronomically small, yet, he exists on earth, and has spent decades growing, learning, loving, and surviving.
wellarmedsheep
And he just had a watermelon dropped on his genitals from 20 feet.
While it’s unclear whether the California man needed hospital attention after the attention-grabbing stunt, the end of the video does seem like the incident was like water off a duck’s back for him. With a grimace, the man looks at the camera, and ends the video with a jovial quip: “Fruit salad.” One thing’s for sure, however: that is one fruit salad I’d not be too thrilled to eat any time soon, right?
