They say that addiction is hard on the addict, but harder on the family caught in the havoc they cause. A TikTok influencer out of California knows this all too well. Six months ago, @knowitall.nicole lost her husband Matt in the throes of his addiction. Now a single mother and a grieving widow, she’s using her platform to detail her journey through her unbearable grief. She recently made one more step towards that healing, when the sheriff’s department returned her husband’s mobile phone.
In the past, Nicole has shared that details surrounding Matt’s death will not be disclosed to her viewers. It’s unclear what exactly the Los Angeles County homicide division needed from his phone. Nicole briefly touched on the issue, stating the loved ones of addicts would likely understand.
After Nicole left the police department, she sat in her car to discuss her dilemma. Matt had recorded some milestone moments that she desperately wanted to get off his phone. Yet she was hesitant to bring herself even more pain by exploring its contents, unsure of what else he had saved.
She explained her inner conflict to viewers tuning in:
I feel like, yes, I will be setting myself up for an absolute disaster if I go through his phone. If your loved one was an addict, you know that sometimes comes with shady behavior.
Nicole described her current stage of grief as a really weird place, sharing that Matt “was a wonderful man, but he had a disease.” She also shared that she was grateful for the California police detectives who understood addiction, and didn’t villainize her husband for the circumstances leading to his death.
California Addict’s Widow Gets Nationwide Support
Lots of viewers commenting echoed a similar stance, leaving Nicole with their love and support. Many also felt her pain, sharing their own stories of heartbreak and loss from addiction.
An overwhelming number of people felt Nicole should have a friend or loved one go through the cell phone instead, sparing her possible heartache from whatever was on the device.
One person suggested, “Have your bestie go through it and erase everything except any pics or texts you may want…”
Whatever she decides to do, it’s clear Nicole is helping others by sharing her journey through grief, after losing the man that she loved in such a devastating way.
