When you’re living life with a newborn, you can use all the help you can get. However, when dealing with the postpartum life, the emotional adjustments can be a lot to handle. For one woman in California who just had a new baby bring brightness to her life, she’s more than excited to share that joy with family. But when a loved one, her stepdad, is being particularly annoying in her home, how should she handle it? Well, Reddit’s a good place to get an answer!
The California woman dropped a post on r/AmItheAsshole on Reddit and asked, “AITA for asking stepdad to stop taking conference calls in my kitchen when he visits?” OP explains she just had a baby the week prior and is still adjusting. During this adjustment, she has her mom and her stepdad by her side, staying with her for a month. They’re there to help her with her new baby and toddler. Though she says she’s super thankful for their assistance, there’s a problem. OP’s stepdad needs to continue working from home while he’s visiting and helping with the growing family.
She says, “He sits in our kitchen all day and takes zoom calls, all of which are in loud volume so everyone can head all 4-5 people on the call talk about engineering.” She said they live in an open-concept home, which means everybody can hear what’s going on. OP tried to make life easier on all of them by asking him to wear headphones. However, he said he didn’t have any the first time, forgot them the second time, and now never mentions them.
What makes the situation particularly frustrating is her stepdad’s shushing of her toddler. Being an open-concept home, noise travels. So, naturally, with the play area being nearby, there’s going to be noise!
OP isn’t the only one annoyed by the noise level and said her husband finally said something to her stepdad. Instead of respecting their household, he acted hurt by having to use the guest room. Now OP says that “the energy feels tense” in their household and wonders, “AITA?”
Most Reddit commenters agree with OP she and her husband are not in the wrong. One commenter said, “He is no help to you and is stressing you out which is not good for your postpartum. Why is your mother not speaking up to him?” OP replied to this comment, “I’m just worried to rock the boat because I really need and value my mom’s help here. Since they are so codependent, I’m worried she won’t want to come help as often if he feels uncomfortable here.”
One person summed the situation up perfectly with, “He is giving main character syndrome.” By acting hurt and failing to respect OP’s wishes while she gets used to life at home with a toddler and a newborn, he’s making matters more stressful for her. It may be upsetting to question if you’ll still have help from somebody if you point out that their behavior is affecting you, but it’s important to keep that line of communication open regardless. Some things just have to be said. Sorry, stepdad, but this is not an office.
