Gaining weight is a normal part of our lives, including in childhood when children do so much growing. People tend to forget you have no business commenting on someone else’s body. It isn’t just rude, but it can cause unnecessary self-hate, especially with kids. Still, friends, spouses, and even parents will try to make people feel guilty for gaining weight. Two Maryland podcasters were surprised when a mother shared how she combats her daughter’s weight gain. I hope her daughter has a good therapist.
Maryland podcasters Kramer and Jess (@kramer.jess on TikTok) shared a conversation they had with a mother who called in to join a Parent Panel conversation with them. She started by asking, “Am I a bad mom for buying my 11-year-old daughter clothes that are too small so she’ll lose weight?” Kramer and Jess look on with slightly shocked expressions as the mom goes on to say her 11-year-old daughter was spending a lot of time with her father over the summer, and she ended up gaining some weight. She claims he lets her “eat whatever she wants,” and she didn’t fit the clothes from the previous school year.
When they went school shopping, the mom decided to buy her clothes that were a “little bit tight” as a way to teach her a lesson. Why? Well, to teach her daughter she “needs to start being mindful” of the food she’s eating. She explains, “She needs to start being mindful of all of that the same way I had to learn,” which is very telling. My first guess was this mother had the same experience.
The mother also notes her daughter’s father saw photos of her in the too-small clothing. In response, he called her a “toxic mom” and asked why she would put her daughter in something so small. He also accused her of body shaming her own daughter and said she’s going to “give her an eating disorder.”
At this point, Jess responds in the best way possible. She answers the concerned mom, “I just think that there’s a better way and a healthier way to go about it than what you’re doing.” The mom then demands to know if Jess or Kramer have kids. Jess responds, “No, we don’t have kids but I don’t have to have a child to recognize something that’s completely insane and harmful to somebody.” And she’s right!
Commenters couldn’t agree more with what Jess had to say. One person commented, “Yes you are a bad mom for that. She’s 11.” Another pointed out, “Calls for advice, gets advice which she didn’t like, ‘do you even have kids?’ WHAT?”
I can’t imagine being anything but loving and supportive to my children, so this type of “parenting” grinds my gears. Here’s to hoping this little girl’s father continues to have her back. We need more awesome parents like that!
