There are several terms that have become famous across the internet, and one that many of us might have heard lately is “mental load.” As many put it, it is this intangible effort of planning, organizing, and remembering things, both inside and outside a house. However, for this particular situation, we’ll focus on the latter, as one Massachusetts influencer claims that men don’t really understand the mental load that takes running a household, with some men often dismissing the mental load term and thinking it’s not a real thing.
Influencer @sheisapaigeturner shared a video discussing how men can misinterpret mental load. She cites a video that has been going around TikTok, where a man teaches young boys how to do certain chores, like ironing clothes or grocery shopping, which, as many imagine, is a good thing.
However, the influencer claims this isn’t enough, since doing the task isn’t part of the mental load. According to the woman, the mental load is planning, organizing, and thinking about what’s missing at home. She also notes how often men would approach women, saying, “Let me help you. What can I cook or buy?” But completely miss the fact that they are not sharing the mental load with the woman.
One example she gives from the video she cited is that the man and the boys did the grocery shopping, but everything they bought came from a list the wife made, meaning they still don’t understand what mental load truly is.
Furthermore, the man in the video allegedly says that it is his job and that of the boys to pick the right brand of the products they are buying, so they don’t get “nagged” by the woman when they return. The influencer also found this bad, as it placed the woman in a “nagging” position, which she shouldn’t be in the first place.
Several TikTokers Agree About Men’s Failure to Understand What Mental Load Is
Overall, the topic resonated with many TikTok users, who supported the Massachusetts influencer’s idea and agreed that men tend to ignore the mental load women carry every day.
“Being house manager is a full-time job.“
“The task is easy, it’s the mental load that isn’t.”
A few others shared their struggles with carrying their own mental load.
“And we didn’t have to be taught this. We figured it out by observing and doing.“
“The thought of a ‘partner’ calling me 10 times from the grocery store gave me incurable psychic damage.”
The influencer mentions that taking care of a house goes beyond just buying things. It is a process of learning what’s missing around the house, planning for the whole week, and remembering what each household member needs.
In the end, every household operates differently, but as many TikTokers and this Massachusetts influencer put it, it is a team effort, and everyone should share the mental load of keeping a house clean and full of groceries.
