If you’re the child of parents that you are now estranged from, you know how difficult it can be. You may have tried over and over again to make things right. But when it comes down to it, you can only push so hard because the parents in this situation need to put in the effort, too. It can’t be completely one-sided, or it won’t work. As one New Jersey woman explains, there were many factors that led to her estrangement from her mother. But one story particularly sticks with her and leaves her baffled, wondering how a mother could twist a story against her own daughter.
Maria (@mommom.maria, now a proud grandparent herself) shares a story that broke her heart. It helped guide her on the path toward walking away from her mother’s lies. Maria says that this particular incident with her mother caused her to “pull back” from her own mother as an adult. In her story, she explains that she and her husband are known as “MomMom” and “PopPop” to her granddaughter. She always wanted a MomMom and a PopPop when she was growing up. So, of course, she wanted the same thing for her own child.
When Maria’s son Vincent was born, her own mother said she didn’t want to be referred to as “MomMom.” She preferred to be called “Grandmom” and Maria’s father chose “Pop.” Maria said she “begged” her mom to be “MomMom” but she was adamant and stood her ground on Grandmom instead. So, Maria went to her in-laws, who were more than pleased to be called MomMom and PopPop. It soothed something in Maria’s soul that they would give her something she so badly wanted.
Now, fast-forward, and Maria has several kids, including an adult daughter. She said her adult daughter was Facetiming Maria’s mom. While this was happening, Maria heard her own mother say, “I begged your mom to be MomMom and PopPop and she said no.” Maria was stunned by what she was hearing. She explained that it was a blatant lie and that her mother twisted everything around on her. Maria said that it felt like her own mother was just trying to make her look like a bad guy. And there’s something heinous and cruel about a parent doing that.
One commenter shared, “I think you touched upon something a lot of parents of adult children don’t understand or want to accept. It’s not one thing that leads to no contact, it’s a list of things. It’s like the never ending pile of laundry lol. And that’s why we hear ‘My son doesn’t talk to me anymore and I don’t know why.’” Another person pointed out, “She wants your daughter to eventually look at you differently.” No matter the intentions, it’s wrong in every single way. Why won’t more parents reflect upon themselves and admit to their past mistakes? Maybe it could potentially heal a lot of relationships, but they don’t want to hear it.
