A 42-year-old woman considering ending her marriage of over a decade over a move to New York is proof that midlife crises are actually a thing. Perhaps a dream should be left exactly like that; a dream.
In a video posted on Reddit, the woman asked her viewers if they would give up their dreams for their marriage. She then explained that she was “born and raised a city girl,” while her husband is “a country boy at heart.” She shared that although they were currently based in suburbia, she had always dreamed of moving to New York City. “I know that a.) He has no desire to move to New York City and b.) He has a local company here, so it’s not feasible,” she explained, adding that they were “empty nesters.”
The woman noted that she did not want to move there permanently; she just wanted to live there for at least three months. “I think it would be fun, I think it would be great for my career, I think it would just be an experience that I am like craving and dying to have,” she detailed. Even though her husband had rarely denied her anything, he made it clear that he did not support that dream. “Absolutely not. That’s a waste of money,” she said, quoting her husband. “So, if I decide not to go, does that mean that I’m giving up my dreams for my husband? What would you do in this situation? For reference, I am almost 43, he’s 58. Yeah, we are 15 years apart,” she concluded.
As expected, the internet immediately blew up with reactions. “The marriage is already over,” one user stated bluntly. Another joked, “She’s having a midlife crisis, lol.” A Redditor pointed out:
“She was probably too young to realize how deeply she desires that before getting caught up in raising the kids. She’s never had the chance to really live a life for herself. Based on her attitude, it sounds like the relationship with her husband is more based on familiarity and comfort. It’s not attachment that’s keeping her, it’s fear of what could happen if things go wrong.”
Someone else chimed in, “She’s just not used to hearing the word ‘No’, that’s where the real problem lies.” Another agreed, “So the one time your husband tells you no, you can’t handle it?”
A user said, “What is the dream? Just to experience city life for a little bit? I’m not even sure how just 3 months in a city is going to catapult her career, either. This seems like weird, manufactured drama in her relationship. We can’t all experience our dreams; life isn’t some magical thing where you get everything you want.” Another agreed, “It’s giving big ‘I’m bored in this relationship, and I want to throw an emotional hard grenade.”
One Redditor responded to her, “I’d say yes, go for it. But, sometimes dreams are better ‘unchased’. The grass is not always greener.” Another one said, “She’s ready to move on, but leaving the money train is hard to compute for her. A 3-month sabbatical from her marriage is what she wants to experience without giving up the financial safety net.” A user echoed their thoughts, “The cliche midlife crisis is not limited to men. She married a dude way her senior and is now dealing with FOMO.”
A few people supported the women. “Maybe I’m crazy, but 3 months doesn’t sound that unreasonable? At least not so unreasonable to warrant a hard ‘No’ with no discussion or negotiation on it,” one wrote. A second user said, “3 months is more like a long holiday than a full-on move. I would suggest a compromise. What is the maximum time he thinks is reasonable, and what is the minimum time? Can an overlap be found?” A last user advised, “I was in the same position as you, same ages for my husband & I as well. I stayed in the marriage and sacrificed my dreams. DON’T BE ME !!! You only have one life, go for it!!!”
