There has been loads of discussion recently concerning growing up with boomer parents. Many individuals are now finding out that their childhoods may have not been as fruitful or fulfilling as they once thought. Why? Boomer parents may not have paid much mind to their children. A Washington, DC relationship expert and psychotherapist have a much-needed discussion concerning the subject and how it affects many adults today. It’s an important conversation that so many of us can relate to, even if we don’t want to.
Lisa (@thelisakays) shared a TikTok where she speaks with Dr. Paula D. Atkinson, a psychotherapist. They call the discussion “A window into the unseen lives of children of Boomers, as seen by their therapists.” Lisa says that boomer parents have a profound “lack of curiosity” about things happening in their children’s lives. She said children of boomers are hurt and tend to say to her in therapy, “I just want them to ask me one question.” However, far too many of them just want to make every conversation about themselves. Because of this, the children feel unseen by the own parents who are supposed to love them.
As Lisa and Paula talk, they discuss that boomer parents may not have been able to live out their dreams because they had children. Society made them feel like that was the only thing they could do. Lisa stated that her mom really only had two options for a career: “nurse or teacher.” It pays to be compassionate toward both sides but realize that boomer parents should have been more nurturing toward their children. Now, many children are suffering the effects of a childhood that didn’t nurture them enough.
Commenters shared that they definitely feel unseen by their boomer parents and share on this phenomenon. One person shared personally, “My mom will talk nonstop for 45 minutes. All about herself. When she’s ready to hang up, she will ask one question about my life. I can tell she’s not listening and is already preparing to hang up.” Another person said, “Every single year it’s always ‘I never know what to get you, you’re so hard to shop for!’…No guys…You just don’t know anything about me lol.”
If you were raised by boomer parents, maybe you can relate to these raw feelings. Perhaps Lisa and Paula’s conversation struck a chord and you feel seen. One commenter added, “This is so validating. My mother hasn’t asked me a question about my career, my friends, my feelings, etc for YEARS. Phone calls are 30-45 minutes of complaining about her life and repeating the same stories.” It’s always a good idea to truly listen to those around you. It’s especially important to do this if you love someone. This conversation shows that far too many boomer parents don’t permit their children to feel loved, and that has to change. Unfortunately, they have to first realize they are the problem – and take measures to change for the better.
