This is not another case like the ones we might hear about from Alabama, and although the title sounds strange, it all makes sense. It’s all due to the complicated laws, especially regarding family and adoption issues. This post on Reddit went pretty viral because a woman in Minnesota is facing the decision to pay 5K to adopt a child that was born with the sperm that her brother donated. But this situation goes beyond that because the same child is also her wife’s child.
This is not a cheating issue because Redditor SkiingHard shared his situation on r/legaladvice. OP is the brother of this woman in Minnesota, who is trying to adopt this child, and for whom he has to pay a large sum of money. It is all because OP’s sister and her wife talked to OP and agreed that he would donate his sperm to get his sister-in-law pregnant. This was all done with a fertility clinic, and OP also shared that he signed the papers just to be the donor and not have any rights with the baby. The problem is that now OP’s sister must pay to adopt her wife’s baby to appear as the other parent, and not just her wife. That is why OP asked for advice in the comments, where many users quickly shared some helpful information:
Hi there! I’m also in a same-sex marriage and have gone through something similar.
CeilingKiwi
Unfortunately, this is pretty par for the course in most of the country. You’re what’s known as a “known donor,” and there are different legal realities for known donors (and the families who utilize them) as opposed to anonymous or open ID donors who donate through sperm banks.
When you say you signed over your rights, you’re probably referring to having signed a known donor agreement. Sadly, most states don’t have legal precedence which protects known donor agreements as legally binding contracts. Unless you live in a state that has explicit laws protecting the parental rights of non-biological parents who utilize known donors, adoption is the only bullet-proof way to ensure that your sister and her wife both retain parental rights over any children conceived within their marriage using your sperm.
According to the comments and information in the comments, many states do not have such specific and broad laws regarding same-sex couples, in which only one is the biological parent of their children. Therefore, in order for both partners to have the right and responsibility for the children, the nonbiological parents must adopt their children. Although Minnesota has explicit protections for cases such as this, many feel that it would be double protection if the OP’s sister pays to adopt the baby.
