There’s a clear distinction between casual jokes among adult peers and comments that make others very uncomfortable. But one 37-year-old PhD student from India at UMass Lowell in Massachusetts didn’t seem to recognize the difference. Employed as a resident advisor at the school, the man had been accused of sexual misconduct and put on probation. According to Boston.com, he was “banned from living in campus-providing housing, or entering any residence hall.”
The women who reported the PhD student said that he had repeatedly spoken in a sexual manner when the context was completely unrelated to sex. For instance, when discussing converting a person to one’s religion, he asked one of his female colleagues, “Do you want me to shove my penis in your face?” He claims it was just a comparison for “religious proselytizing,” but that didn’t make the comment any less inappropriate. Another report states he talked about ‘being forever alone’ with another woman and telling her that he just wants someone to cuddle with, that “I’ll be alone, so I’ll just jerk off and go to bed.” He also allegedly tried to hug his female peers, among other weird instances when he seemingly tried to flirt with one woman with his feet and touched her thigh without consent.
Despite the accusations, however, the judge said that “there was no sexual misconduct” between the 37-year-old Indian and his colleagues. The PhD student attempted to sue the school for $2 million but failed because UMass is a “public university protected from paying damages.” In the end, the man got away with his actions and behavior, with the judge claiming they were just “unpleasant” and caused “discomfort” to the women. So, none of it counted as “sexual advances.”
I feel that regardless of whether he truly meant to inappropriately flirt and creep out his female colleagues, what he did and his unapologetic behavior is deplorable, to say the least. As many online users point out, there’s no way his actions and comments would fly in a professional workplace, as he would have been shown the door after the multiple accusations. “I think it’s cool the entire world is insane now,” remarks a Reddit commenter. “He clearly sexually harassed several people and gets away with it lmao.” Hundreds of others agree that what the PhD student did was sexual misconduct.
Inappropriate comments aside, the fact that the Indian resident advisor tried to hug other colleagues and touched one woman with his feet and her thigh without consent are all red flags. If the university can’t legally punish him based on accusations, then those women and others should definitely keep their distance from him moving forward. A police report if he tried anything that crossed the line would also be warranted, I’d say.
