Nothing beats a balanced, omnivorous diet for humans, but some would think otherwise. News of a Florida man’s “carnivore diet” has been revealed by JAMA Cardiology, and it’s rather disturbing. Currently in his 40s, the individual has reportedly started this diet to achieve “weight loss, increased energy, and improved mental clarity.” Whether he has achieved these bodily goals through the diet is subjective, but what he has started doing is oozing excess cholesterol from his skin.
According to the published cardiology report, the Florida man had been eating multiple hamburgers and sticks of butter, along with up to nine pounds of cheese daily. This outlandish dietary habit has caused his cholesterol level to exceed 1000 mg/dL; for reference, his baseline level is 210 to 300 mg/dL. As a result, the man was diagnosed with xanthelasma, causing visible deposits of lipids, aka cholesterol, to form on his palms and elbows. These yellowish nodules are painless but rather grotesque to look at, needless to say.
“Man’s turning into a ribeye steak in front of our eyes,” jokes a commenter on the subreddit r/interestingasf—. “I can’t believe it’s not blood. Its butter,” quips another. “At this point, his blood is basically butter with a hint of beef,” chimes in a third. “It gives a whole new meaning to the word ‘butterfingers,'” says a fourth from r/skeptic, referring to how all the butter and cheese the Florida man was consuming is now literally exuding from his body.
Others did find JAMA Cardiology’s revelation of the Florida “Butter Golem’s” dietary habits revolting, with comments like “God, it makes me want to puke,” and “so f-ing disgusting.” However, hundreds continued to roast the individual’s audacity to even call his way of eating a “carnivore diet.” “Ah yes, butter and cheese, the natural prey of carnivores,” mocks a commenter on Ars Technica’s post of the report. “Yes, carnivores are well known for chasing down wheels of cheese and sticks of butter peacefully grazing on the plains,” jests another.
While this Florida might have seen some sort of benefits from turning himself into a butterball, the report about his cholesterol levels shooting into outer space should indicate that such a way of nutritional consumption is not ideal. Not to mention, no one would want to see excess cholesterol seeping from their hands. That’s gross.
