The dating scene can be incredibly stressful, with fears of rejection, social anxiety, and the pressure to impress often taking their toll. Recently, an Oregon woman experienced a nightmare of a first date, but the reason why may surprise you. Before the date, the man reportedly told his date to wear something “comfortable” and act “like it’s a lounge day at home“. The twist? He ended up taking his date to an upscale restaurant, which made the woman feel extremely uncomfortable and ultimately ended the date in less than two minutes.
The clip, which was posted by TikToker @rachelanderson471, sees the woman — who is apparently named Rachel — explaining what happened during the disastrous date. “I just left a first date that I was really looking forward to in under two minutes because it was a surprise tour for something comfortable.” Rachel says. “I said ‘comfortable?’ and he said ‘Yeah, act like it’s a lounge day at home.’ So, I just throw on some sweatpants, an MBC sweatshirt, some tennis shoes, my hair in a bun, no jewelry, no nothing. Why does this man try to walk me into this fine dining restaurant?” As she explains, she stares into the camera, her expression one of pure astonishment.
Of course, because she felt underdressed at the fancy restaurant, this really ruffled her feathers. Continuing on, she expresses, “Immediately, no. I turned around and walked out. As soon as you meet me, you wanna level the playing field by humbling and/ or embarrassing me by bringing me out to a place where you know that I am underdressed? Absolutely not.“
After getting some fast food and sitting in her car, Rachel reflects on how her “old me” would’ve handled the situation. She explains that she probably would’ve messaged him and asked him why he embarrassed her like that. But now, she decided to “immediately block” the man because he “showed” her who he really was. Ending the video, she declares, “You will never have the opportunity to try and humble me again.”
In a follow-up video embedded above, Rachel explains what she was wearing and what was said before the date took place. She even FaceTimed him an hour or two beforehand, and asked whether her outfit was okay. Interestingly, he said that it was “perfect,” and she thought he was going to be wearing a hoodie and some jogger jeans. When he showed up to the first date, however, he was wearing “a crisp white button down, navy dress pants that had been pressed, dress shoes, and it looked like he had come directly from the barber.”
As the clips spread online, Rachel’s nightmare date has prompted plenty of debate, with many viewers backing the TikToker. One commenter on TikTok speculated, “He was testing you to see if he could control you” while another added, “The humiliation ritual to physical abuse pipeline. There are ALWAYS signs.”
Meanwhile, over on Reddit, one person wrote, “She does a follow up video where she says they FaceTimed before the date and he was dressed casual in a hoodie saying that was what he was wearing, then when he arrived he was dressed very nicely button up shirt nice pants. He then told her he did it deliberately as a joke. Then yelled at her to sit down when she tried to leave.” A fourth chipped in with, “Yeah walking out was the right move.”
The incident suggests the man attempted to disguise humiliation as humor, a move widely seen as inappropriate for a first date. Regardless of whether he intended it as a joke, Rachel’s decision to end the date immediately was widely seen as justified. After all, who wants to be humiliated on a first date?
