Nobody ever expects to lose a loved one suddenly. When it does happen, however, families are left with understandable grief and big decisions that have to be made quickly. A Florida man turned to r/AmItheAsshole on Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong over a decision he had to make after the sudden loss of a loved one. Now he’s asking, “AITA for choosing to go to my grandfather’s funeral over my unborn daughter’s 20 week ultrasound?”
OP explains he’s expecting a baby girl with his wife and they’re both very excited. He says they scheduled the 20-week ultrasound several weeks ago and everything has been going swimmingly. Unfortunately, OP’s grandfather passed away after a week and a half of deteriorating health. Now, he found out his grandfather’s funeral will be at the same day and time his wife and he were supposed to attend their ultrasound. When OP confronted his wife with the news, she wasn’t as understanding as he may have expected her to be. He said that his wife is “upset” that he plans on attending the funeral instead of the ultrasound that day.
When he told her, “Well we could FaceTime?” and “It’s my grandfather,” he was met by an upset, “Yeah, but this is your daughter.” As OP says, “I’m emotionally torn from this because I’m so excited for my baby girl but also really sad about my grandfather.” He claims he doesn’t think his feelings are being considered in this situation and asks Reddit to be straight with him.
Luckily, commenters came to the rescue and agreed his feelings on this are, indeed, valid. We never plan for a loved one to pass away and it usually doesn’t happen when we expect it. One person shared, “NTA. The appointment could be rescheduled, the funeral cannot be. I’ve delivered 5 children. I was glad when my husband could be at my appointments but often he couldn’t be. It’s not the end of the world.” And that’s totally fair. There’s still another 20 weeks before the baby’s arrival. Pushing the day, at most, a couple weeks won’t make a difference.
Another person replied, “I don’t understand why the answer isn’t automatically to reschedule the appointment?” They then go on to say, “I get that OP’s wife probably has a lot going on in terms of hormones, but getting upset at OP for going to his grandfather’s funeral instead of this checkup seems really heartless to me.”
When you care about somebody, you make it work when something so devastating and sudden takes their life by storm. I hope OP finds comfort at this time and sticks to his guns. He shouldn’t have to miss saying goodbye to a loved one when there are plenty of opportunities for an ultrasound.
