“Most people don’t understand the style of ‘Star Wars’.” George Lucas, the Star Wars holy father, made this bold claim while defending the awkward dialogue of Episode II – Attack of the Clones. “They don’t get that there’s an underlying motif that is very much like a 1930’s Western or Saturday matinee serial.” Well, whatever the ‘underlying motif’, it doesn’t make the film’s script any better. Indeed, this goes for all of the Star Wars movies Lucas himself has fully scripted. But where the prequels are concerned, the biggest victim is Hayden Christensen’s poor Anakin Skywalker – and you’ll see why as we rank his top ten worst lines.
10) “From My Point of View – The Jedi Are Evil” (Revenge of the Sith)
There’s a big problem with this line. By prefacing his comment as a point of view, Anakin isn’t dealing with absolutes. Earlier, Obi-Wan claims that “only a Sith deals in absolutes” (a statement which, funnily enough, is being absolute about a whole group). By using the ‘point of view’ phrase, Anakin is, unknowingly or not, acknowledging that other points of view exist and therefore not dealing in absolutes. This kills the image of the Sith Lucas tries to paint through that earlier dialogue. Oh, plus – it sounds like an infantile and naive blanket statement, doubling as one of the funniest quotes in Star Wars.
9) “My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count” (Revenge of the Sith)
This isn’t just one of Anakin Skywalker’s worst lines – it’s one of the worst examples of movie pre-fight banter ever. What exactly does Future Vader mean by this? Is there a numerical value by which the Force is measured? If so, it isn’t revealed in the movies. And how exactly can Anakin know how far his powers have doubled? Does he mean his skills have improved since he and Dooku last met? If so, he could’ve just said that instead.
8) “You’re with him! You’ve brought him here to kill me!” (Revenge of the Sith)
I’ll give credit where credit is due. This line sounds sillier on-page than it does in the movie. This is because Hayden Christensen does his best to save this cheesy utterance. He only makes it marginally less laughable, but still. Regardless of this achievement, though, the line is childish nonsense.
7) “Don’t you see? We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor; I… I can overthrow him. And together, you and I can rule the galaxy… make things the way we want them to be!” (Revenge of the Sith)
Look, I get that I’m cheating a bit here. This entry consists of multiple lines of terrible Anakin Skywalker dialogue. However, it seemed criminal not to include this since it’s a good example of badly-spewed exposition. Here, Lucas tries to cram all of Anakin’s feelings and desires into one chunk, rather than have him gradually reveal them through natural conversation. It comes across as incredibly awkward in an already awkwardly-scripted scene.
6) “Don’t Make Me Kill You” (Revenge of the Sith)
This line is pure pigeon poop. Alone, it sounds like the kind of one-liner a ten-year-old would come up with. However, in context, it’s worse. It’s what Anakin responds with when Obi-Wan confusedly questions, “Your New Empire?” upon finding out Anie’s grand plan. It’s one of the most painfully unnatural conversations in Star Wars – then again, given Palpatine’s claim that the Sith possesses unnatural powers, perhaps talking unnaturally is one of them?
5) “It’s Because I’m So In Love With You” (Revenge of the Sith)
George Lucas’s writing is the worst in the ‘romantic’ scenes, as demonstrated by Anakin Skywalker’s statement here. However, this is more evident given its context. The exchange begins with Anie stating outright, “You are so beautiful”. To this, Padme responds, “It’s only because I’m so in love”. For some reason, this prompts the young Anakin Skywalker to respond with the famously bad line above. Gosh, the dialogue is so clunky and unnatural, it’s painful…
4) “You underestimate my power” (Revenge of the Sith)
This brag is spouted by an angry Anakin Skywalker shortly before Obi-Wan defeats him on Mustafar. The problem, however, is that it sounds too kiddy, even for a supposed children’s film. It’s also indicative of much of Anakin’s Episode III dialogue. Lucas has this supposedly mature Jedi Knight speak and reason like an immature child. Yet, it remains one of the funniest Star Wars quotes and has been memed to death.
3) “My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar.” (Attack of the Clones)
In a recent interview describing the Star Wars prequels, Obi-Wan actor Ewan McGregor says, “I don’t want to be rude, but it’s not Shakespeare”. And with Hayden Christensen forced to utter lines like this, it’s clear how much of an understatement that really is. Mr. Lucas can cry “the movies are for kids!” all he likes – Disney movies have proven time and again that ‘kid movie status’ doesn’t provide a good excuse for poor dialogue.
2) “Believe me, I wish I could wish away my feelings” (Attack of the Clones)
There are a few things wrong with this line. Firstly, the repetition of wish. Secondly, it sounds like the kind of cringe-inducing dialogue a child would conjure. Or, perhaps, the kind of dialogue a teenage fan-girl would vomit for her first fan-fiction. When he’s spewing the worst lines in the galaxy, it’s hard for us to take Anakin Skywalker very seriously.
1) “I hate sand. It’s coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere” (Attack of the Clones)
For what it’s worth, I see what Lucas was trying to do here. Anakin Skywalker was brought up on a desert planet, albeit as a slave to Watto. As such, it’s understandable to see why he doesn’t have fond memories of his homeworld – Lucas is probably trying to convey his unpleasant memories via metaphor here. Regardless, the line and its wooden delivery just don’t work. It’s easily one of Star Wars’ most awkward yet funniest quotes – and certainly Anakin’s.
A quick note: the writer of this article has nothing but admiration for George Lucas and the epic franchise he created. This article isn’t meant to be a hate-filled diatribe, but rather, a humorous critique of his writing. George Lucas has produced some iconic movies in his time – but his bad dialogue is useful material for a ‘how not to write a movie’ piece. That said, I pass the question off to the rest of you – what do you think are Anakin Skywalker’s worst lines in the prequels?