When you need to get a medical procedure done, it’s rarely a simple walk-in. And when you are lucky enough to finally get an appointment, your choices can be unfairly analyzed. As one couple in Tennessee discovered, their request for a vasectomy was met with a thousand-and-one questions.
Posted by TikTok user Themodernmidwife (Caitlyn), she immediately shares a personal choice her husband is making: getting a vasectomy. After having four children and witnessing the often-painful sterilization procedures for women, the couple decided he would undergo the vasectomy instead. However, when they tried to schedule the appointment and ask questions, Caitlyn says the medical staff stonewalled them.
“Tell me why, when my husband went in to see his primary care today, two separate people tried to convince not to get a vasectomy,” Caitlyn says in her TikTok video. They’ve been waiting “months and months” just to get an appointment for the referral they need. The nurse questions his decision, “Why can’t your wife just get a tubal?”
This led to a back-and-forth between Caitlyn’s husband and the staff, with him having to defend his decision. And it’s the usual stuff: being nearly 40 and already having several kids. More importantly, he argues tubals are a lot more “complicated” than a vasectomy.
Another provider enters and also questions Caitlyn’s husband, trying to “discourage” him, remarking the “hoops” they’d have to jump through, like psyche evaluations and speaking with a urologist. They’re feeling as if the staff is doing everything in their power to avoid the conversation.“Why are they doing this to us?” Caitlyn asks in her TikTok video.
What bothers her most is the possibility that another man who isn’t well-informed or confident in his decision could be easily persuaded by just those two healthcare providers. She fears that this could pressure women into enduring unnecessary pain while men avoid the procedure, highlighting the imbalance in how sterilization decisions are handled.
People in the Comments Were Eager to Share Their Advice
Given the nature of the topic and varying experience with healthcare providers, many people in the comment section of Caitlyn’s TikTok video offered insight on what they did. This was in addition to offering their next course of action.
One TikTok user, Laurabelle2.0, suggested: “Nahhh report the whole office to the state medical board.” According to Caitlyn, her husband has VA healthcare, which is where part of the problem is stemming from. Those who responded to Caitlyn were seemingly unsurprised it was a VA clinic that tried to halt her husband’s vasectomy.
Another TikTok user, Imnop7201, offered dialogue Caitlyn could use that may convince the clinic to perform the procedure, saying “‘Please chart your refusal to give me a referral to urology for the health care I am asking for.’” Essentially, you get their refusal in writing!
Several commenters suggested going to Planned Parenthood. One woman, who shared she had six children, said her husband was able to get one pretty quickly. “In and out, no questions. I always say it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
But the question that is frequently asked is why there has to be so much bureaucracy when it comes to healthcare, especially with a procedure that is simple and fast.
