A mother in Utah is drawing attention online after asking whether her ex-husband, who now identifies as a transgender woman, should attend a “Muffins with Mom” event at their child’s pre-kindergarten class.
The question, shared in a TikTok video, quickly sparked discussion among viewers, with many weighing in on how school events like this should be handled in situations involving shared parenting and gender identity.
In the clip, the mother, Courtney, who posts under the name courtort, asks, “Should my ex-husband, who is a trans woman, go to ‘Muffins with Mom’ at my daughter’s pre-k class tomorrow?”
She explains that she believes mother-focused school events should involve her, noting that she and her ex had previously agreed that she would take on that role in their children’s lives.
She is no stranger to sharing her divorce story, with her routinely mentioning how she was married to a now-trans woman. This clip, in particular, became one of her most popular, garnering 2 million views, 140,000 likes, and nearly 8,000 comments.
Courtney admitted in the clip that she routinely struggles with this issue. She said that all mother-related school events, such as “Muffins with Mom” or “Mother’s Day,” should feature her, and her alone. According to her, that’s something she agreed with her ex: Courtney being the “mom character” in their children’s lives.
Muffins With Mom
However, things got complicated, as she revealed later in the clip. She was with her kids in the car, and the “Muffins with Mom” topic was mentioned while she was Facetiming with her ex. According to her, the Utah woman’s son said, “Oh, Dad, you could go because you’re like a mom.”
This came as a surprise to Courtney. According to her, her son had previously told a friend of his that he had only one mother. While Courtney found that “interesting,” her daughter said, “You’re not a mom. You’re a dad.”
Courtney argued that this situation is “confusing” for her kids, which annoys her.
“I feel like I have done so much to accommodate my ex’s needs and transition and try to be respectful,” Courtney said. “And I feel like she can let me have this one request.”
The Utah mother concluded her video by saying she wants all mother-related events to remain exclusive to her. To that end, she wrote in the clip’s description, “Sometimes I just wanna be selfish, I’ll be honest.”
Users React To Courtney’s Dilemma
Some users empathized with Courtney’s frustration. One user said, “Oh, I’m annoyed for you.” Others were upset by the whole situation, but chose to keep quiet, with one viewer commenting, “I don’t have anything nice to say.”
Trans women also commented on Courtney’s clip. One of them said, “You deserve the mother and daughter days and be celebrated as a mom on Mother’s Day.” A user, self-described as a trans ally, said, “You are absolutely in the right on this one.”
Thanks to Courtney’s pretty evident frustration, many users seemed to resonate with her struggle. Other mothers appeared to understand where she was coming from. The fact that she was understanding to begin with certainly helped the clip achieve virality in a non-devisive way.
According to an update, Courtney was the only one who showed up at the “Muffins with Mom” event.
