House hunting is already a stressful situation without any added interference on the side. From the price of housing in our modern times to picking the best location to raise your kids, there are many overwhelming aspects. A woman from New York post on Reddit’s r/AmItheA**hole subreddit, “AITA for walking out of a house showing?” while a viewing turned into an absolute disaster. The reason? A realtor who may not have had her best interests in mind.
OP started the post by saying, “My husband and I are in the process of looking for a house for our family.” She went on to explain that she viewed several homes in New York with her husband, in-laws, kids, and her realtor, Bob. She stated that Bob was the realtor for her in-laws and is close to them.
During a viewing of the first home, things quickly turned sour. OP’s family went to look at a small room, but she stayed back with Bob due to the small size. While they hung tight, she asked Bob if the house has two bedrooms downstairs and two bedrooms upstairs. She was met with a shocking reaction: Bob rolled his eyes, sighed, and walked away from her. However, while checking out the basement, OP’s husband asked the same question and Bob excitedly answered him, ignoring OP.
As expected in such a tense moment, OP took her kids and left the showing. When everybody was finished viewing the home, OP’s mother-in-law approached her and told her that she was being rude for walking out of the showing. OP talked to her husband about the vibes Bob was throwing off. Her husband was, as she says, “furious that Bob would do that and that he also noticed a weird vibe from him toward me.”
OP goes on to offer her speculation on the matter: “I am black and my husband and in-laws are white. We live in a predominantly white area in rural NY. There aren’t a lot of us around here and I get looks from white people all the time.” She asks, “AITA for walking away today?”
One comment frustratingly said, “NTA Bob sucks. Also, don’t go house hunting with your in-laws, ESPECIALLY if the realtor is their friend! You’ve giving them too much power to guilt you into making a major financial decision because it’ll benefit their relationship with their friend, not you.” OP replied, “Didn’t ask her to come! Found out the day of that they were coming!” and that she already complained to her husband about it.
Somebody else commented that, aside from the “racial shortsightedness” being difficult to prove, OP shouldn’t let Bob make money off of her when he doesn’t meet her family’s needs. Another person considered, “It could be racist and it could also be misogyny. When my ex and I were looking for a house, the realtor would not answer my questions and totally ignored me. Even my ex noticed. We left and found another realtor.”
It isn’t surprising OP felt the way she did. House-hunting is supposed to be fun. If you choose to use a realtor, it’s important that your entire family feels a connection. You don’t want to be led astray over something as serious and permanent as a home.
