Take one look at any social media post about gender roles or marriage and you’ll probably see some wildly different opinions. The marriage rates in America have been declining since the 70s. Not to mention fewer couples getting married due to financial instability, among other reasons. But one Georgia woman has an opinion about marriage that’s bound to ruffle some feathers: She thinks “poor people were never supposed to get married.”
Here’s the thing: We don’t live in the 1800s anymore. Your average married couple probably didn’t mention a dowry. Marrying for love is completely fine. However, TikToker Supremetingz—Bae—seems to think poor married couples are always going to end up miserable. As Bae says, marriage was an “institution for rich people to pass down wealth, resources, land, and assets.”
She said women were always supposed to be the child bearers in a relationship. Things changed when women started marrying poor men, leading to the household chores on their shoulders. Since a poor man couldn’t afford a maid, it was his wife’s job to clean house. To really drive the point home, Bae argues if you’re miserable it’s “probably because you’re married to a poor man.”
In the end, Bae concludes that marrying for love doesn’t make sense and that you need to consider the financial aspects of marriage. It’s a pretty miserable way of looking at another person. And what a way to assume the inner machinations of someone’s relationship.
If you look at marriage as a business decision, you won’t be happy, no matter how much income someone makes. That didn’t stop anyone from leaving some lopsided comments. For example, one person stated, “Marriage was the first slavery,” and that the “…institution of marriage was created to subjugate women. It was made with the feminization of poverty in mind,“ while others got the best of both worlds and married for “stability and love.”
Like many definitions, the idea of marriage has changed. Most newlyweds aren’t shaking hands to seal a marketing deal. They probably did it for love, with a kiss. More importantly, marriage either does or doesn’t matter to you—both are perfectly fine. And if you do get married, hopefully it’s for love and connection, rather than a monetary bump. But it also wouldn’t hurt to have both.
