Due to its proximity to Russia, lots of weird things have landed in Alaska. This time around, however, it’s not only Russian President Vladimir Putin who arrived at Anchorage, Alaska, but also Putin’s suitcase full of poop. To be more specific, Putin went to Anchorage, Alaska, for the Russia–US Summit with President Trump, but the Russian President had to bring his rumored poop suitcase for additional safety when he entered the US on August 15.
This poop suitcase has reportedly been a standard security protocol for Vladimir Putin ever since 2018, according to French journalists who interviewed Russia’s Federal Protection Service. The Russian President apparently has a team of bodyguards that carry around this special suitcase where Putin allegedly stores his feces during foreign visits until he gets back to Moscow. This is so that the intelligence agencies of each respective country Putin visits will not be able to collect his feces for gathering intel on the Russian leader’s health.
However, it’s not clear whether Putin defecates on the suitcase or his bodyguards extract it from wherever it lands instead. The nature of the job has since drawn many jokes online due to its absurd yet somewhat plausible nature, given how Putin’s strictness with security, especially during wartime. People online have thus commented on the issue:
“Imagine if the secret service guy got the bribe money suitcase and the jobbie suitcase mixed up,” imagines one Reddit user
“AKA the ‘Poo tin’.” jokes another Reddit user
Some, however, have wondered why Russia and Putin put so much importance on the privacy of his health and have even suggested that the Russian President must be unhealthy to begin with. “If they’re going to that extent to protect his health information, he’s obviously unhealthy,” suggested a commenter. For the record, Vladimir Putin is 72 years old.
Too Bad the Deal Went Down the Toilet
It’s worth noting that Putin’s alleged poop suitcase arrived with him around August 15, which is the start date of the Russia-US Summit, also known as the Trump–Putin Summit. It’s not clear whether Putin is still in the US or has left already. This meeting aims to resolve the ongoing Russo-Ukrainian War, but so far, no deals have been made. US President Donald Trump is now back in Washington, DC, for a meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy for peace talks.
Meanwhile, Trump, initially confident of reaching a deal with Putin before the Alaska Summit, also got caught in the toilet humor crossfire online, with many scathingly mocking the President with how his DNA might be present in Putin’s suitcase or how the US sarcastically does Presidential security better.
“Putin’s team carried a special poop recovery thing to keep US agents from getting ahold of his poop (I presume to test for medical conditions). Trump’s team put their government devices on public wifi.”
“That’s where America is one step ahead, Trump wears his own poop retention device for maximum security.”
