A New York woman, Maria, calls Level 1 Autism the “loneliest experience” because of a lack of understanding by other people. She argues that she’s “not normal enough to keep friends or make friends.” Her TikTok video has over 237,000 views, over 42,000 likes, and over 1,500 comments.
Maria explains that this puts her at a strange crossroads: she’s too different to fit in, yet “not different enough to be believed.” She claims this comes from personal experience, with people telling her that she’s not autistic while at the same time asking, “Why do you do that?” Furthermore, she states that people who don’t want to see her as autistic get irritated with every autistic thing she does. This is because she needs things said directly. Maria also needs a plan, and she “talks too much about [herself]” when trying to relate to the topic.
Additionally, she argues that she believes Level 1 Autism is the loneliest because “[some] people won’t accept my disability.” Maria says this is the part some people don’t want to say out loud. If they won’t accept her as autistic, it’s because then they’d have to admit they don’t like someone with a disability. She also expresses frustration over a lack of support even though she struggles because her need is seen as ‘minimal.’
New York Woman Sparks Autism Conversation
Maria’s video has created a safe space for others with similar experiences to vent. One says, “I just mask heavily… Get burnt out, isolate, skill regress, recover, and then repeat the cycle.” Another says, “It’s neurodivergent purgatory. I’m normal enough to not be “obvious” but just “off” enough to have people ask me, ‘When is the mother ship coming to pick you up?’” A third commenter has just given up on socializing. They say, “Autism, adhd, and a whole mountain of chronic illnesses. I don’t even bother trying to make friends anymore.“
Meanwhile, others argue that they received no support growing up and aren’t ‘severe’ enough to warrant needing additional help. One commenter points out, “And we got noooooo support when young.” Another adds, “And not disabled enough for benefits 🙃.” Another commenter shares, “And your employer will point out every autistic trait you have to say you need to ‘work on it’.”
Maria often posts videos sharing her experiences after being diagnosed with AuDHD late in life on her channel @mariaaudhd.
