Talos Principle DLC brings back Serious Sam

The game industry is no stranger to odd announcements and false press releases on April Fool’s Day, our most prank-filled of days. This makes reporting on any seemingly strange news a dangerous proposition, as misinformation tends to spread like wildfire on the internet. Therefore, because it was released yesterday, I was skeptical about the new DLC for introspective, philosophical, and cerebral game, The Talos Principle. I am happy to report that the once quiet game has finally received the alpha-male injection that it has been craving.

Clearly this serene locale needs more sarcasm and sneering.

Croteam, the developer of The Talos Principle, has released a free DLC that replaces the narrator of the game. Normally, you are guided through your philosophical journey by the voice of Elohim, a calm, collected, and unemotional character that matches the lonely tone of the game. Croteam decided to tap into another property they own and enlist the services of voice actor John J. Dick, better known as the voice of Sam “Serious” Stone in the Serious Sam games, to provide a shot of adrenaline and machismo to The Talos Principle. Not only does Serious Sam replace the original narrator, but an entirely new script was written to better utilize Sam’s unique vocal range and mannerisms.

Not many people know that Sam got a degree in Philosophy. And a minor in phallic imagery.

The best part about the DLC is that, until April 7th, it is completely free to download, although it will jump to $2.99 at that point. During that same time frame, the full game of The Talos Principle is available for 50% off on Steam. You can toggle between the original voice and the DLC, and you will receive a new character model to boot, complete with Sam’s shades and the familiar angry bomb logo. It is definitely worth a download, even if just for the initial laughs of hearing the gruff and hyper-masculine Sam yell at you during what should be a cerebral and philosophical journey.

Jordan Baranowski

Jordan has been gaming and geeking as far back as he can remember. You can find him on Twitter @Jordality and occasionally find him streaming on Twitch.tv/JojoTheNinjaGaming. You can also check out his YouTube channel, Dolly Bear Productions.